Kill The Toy
Some semi-coherent advice on how to break free
Is there a world where I know how to quit you? Probably not. Yet, I persist anyway. The day ends much as it begins- staring into the blue light of a device that was mined, assembled, and manufactured under what I can only assume are less than stellar circumstances. I imagine the Foxconn worker somewhere in Zhengzhou Park desperately hitting quota for iPhones made that day. I think of modern day slaves, their brows soaked in sweat, toiling away in cobalt mines found in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. The many men and their children drudging in Mongolia, digging deeper and deeper for the comically named “rare earth minerals” that power the device that was in my hand a few minutes ago.
I think of them all for a minute. Maybe two. Then, of course, I resume scrolling.
I think back to when I first got a phone- it was the opposite of anything that could be considered ‘smart’, but it had a fold out keyboard and a terrible, pixelated camera and by god was that enough for me. It was an LG Dare, and it brought me joy.
Just look at this absolute unit. THIS is what peak performance looks like. Chunky buttons, a metal frame, and an overall form factor that make it look less like something you call your mom on, and more like some sort of bizzaro gadget from a Star Wars prequel. (Although I was definitely calling my mom to pick me up on this thing.) I miss my LG Dare, but what I miss more are the days when my phone was a tool, not a toy. And because our phones have turned into toys, it only makes sense that they began to treat us like children.
Bright, nearly nauseating colors. Tones and notes that make your ears perk up. Apps that are missing letters, as if we were in a first grade writing class. Logos that appear not as if they were inspired by history or design, but by an adolescent obsession with exceedingly vivid highlighters. Dings, pings, and rings that turn us from fully formed adults into salivating hyenas, running towards our smartphones as if they were the carcass of a recently slain water buffalo.
I don’t want to be a hyena. I want to be a man! I want dignity!
I have no easy answer, no magic cure-all that I could give you, or better yet, monetize and sell to you. In earnest, I wish I did. But while my advice is not easy, it is obvious.
Kill the toy.
You do not have to throw your phone out the window, or set it on fire, or run it over with your car. (In fact, if you live in New York, like I do, you probably don’t even have that last thing.) You do not have to kill the phone. You just have to kill what makes it a toy.
When I heard the news of TikTok getting banned here, I was for the first time in a long time genuinely impressed with our government. The many crises looming over young people in America; mental health, loneliness, radicalization, they all stem from the phone. We know this. While the ban stemmed from user data being harvested and (potentially) handed to the Chinese government, I was still, in my heart of hearts, glad to see that a central cog in the addiction machine was getting dismantled.
When it was reversed, I was disappointed but not surprised. Seeing that reversal touted as a spoil of the Trump presidency, a day before his actual entry into office, was another piece of the very predictable pie.
The messaging was clear. In America, we pick ourselves up by our bootstraps, and then, little feller, we scroll TikTok for 3-4 hours a day. That is our God given right as citizens of the most free nation on Earth. (It is also both less harmful and more shareholder friendly than an opioid addiction.)
Unlike some Western democracies, the American government has made it glaringly evident- when it comes to the digital landscape, you are on your own. It is now up to the individual consumer to draw a line in the sand on how much of their sanity, attention span, and dignity they are willing to give up to corporations that do not have their best interest at heart. It is up to you to decide if your smartphone is going to be a tool on your workbench of success, or your favorite plaything in an increasingly vapid toy box.
I am striving for a tool, not a toy, but it is not easy. I deleted TikTok the day it went offline, and I haven’t looked back. I also deleted Instagram on my phone. (But I do check it on my laptop once a day, when I finish up work, because I am no better than a dog.) Speaking of, sometimes I’ll put my phone in black and white, just to make sure my brain won’t fire on all cylinders when I get a notification. I turned off any sound and haptics around texts and email. When I get a call, it just shows the person who’s giving me a ring along with the smooth sounds of Total Eclipse of The Heart, if my ringer is on.
Recently, I try and read a book before bed, instead of re-watching Game of Thrones. But my god, they look happy. Actually, they look miserable. They are stabbed, cut, mauled, tortured, and sometimes, doused in flames by creatures they thought were extinct centuries ago. Can you imagine. Seeing a dragon and simply being struck by it’s beauty, it’s capability of ending your life in less than a second. No one in Westeros is “going live” as they are burnt to a crisp. They don’t even know what “going live” means.
Breaking from the modern day smartphone, a device that ostensibly solved the problem of human boredom, is not an easy task. In many ways, it’s a nearly impossible one. Just speaking from my own experience, the combination of essentials often proves too useful (and easy) to resist- replying to a coworker on Slack while on the train, checking my blood tests through MyChart while in line for a coffee. But the more I use my phone for these sorts of things, as a tool, the more I feel myself slowly, steadily wriggling out of this thing’s clutches. Start with baby steps. A morning stroll while the thing is charging. A Sunday afternoon with a book instead of a YouTube video. Create something, in lieu of consuming.
Maybe you can even update that Substack that hasn’t been touched in nearly a year. The possibilities are endless. Next time you pick up your phone, I implore you, just for a minute, think of it as tool, and not as something you use for cheap dopamine on demand. You might be surprised how quickly you put it down.